Some of you may remember awhile back I wrote about the tragic "accidental" shooting of a little boy. Well last week they found the mothers, mother dead. there seems to be a ring of dread around this lady and at times I reall cant help but feel sorry for her and what she has gone thru. Then of course i shake that off and revert to be being the cold hearted bastard that most people think i am anymore lol. but truth be told I do feel sorry for the loss of her mother, I cant imagine mine not being here and I have made sure i called and offered my condolences.

I have saw the sunny one's pictures and they are as sexy as ever. Now smiley takes the best pictures of nature that i have seen and I enjoy looking at her photos, they are so peaceful and hope to be able to talk to her soon. Coolbaby you know i miss ya dont ya? lol ( even though you do talk funny)

I made a post a little while back about wheter or not I should give up a dream I have had for a long time and I realise after a lot of soul searching that I should just finally give up.Some things you can never have no matter how bad you want them.

Anyway,

Later Y'all

Yesterday, i got to talk to a young lady whom I havnt talked to in a while. It made my day just hearing her voice. she says she's doing good, but i'm not sure I belive her lol. Anyway it was a good conversation and she actually admitted that i made her smile. thats amazing, i havnt donr that in a long time. Hell i even got permission to kidnap her, and i keep warning her that one of these days I am gonna show up in Iowa and she aint gonna know what to do lol. But she knows me pretty good so she aint gonna worry about that, at least until she tells me to come lol, which i believe hell has a better chance of freezing over than for that to happen.

What i wish is that we could talk more but i think shes scared to and i aint gonna push it, she knows i am here whenever she needs or wants me. I do know that it was very nice to hear from her and it truly made my day.

Soooo to her all i want to say is thanks, you talk funny and i am still here and of course....

Sweetdreams Angel

I am finally gonna start being online more than I have been lately, maybe y'all aint forgot me yet lol
Later

One of the hardest things a person ever has to do is finally give up on something they want. You work and try so hard for so long that it seems like you cant do anything more, but you still hang on to that dream. Then comes the devastating reality that you cant ever have it. But you still refuse to give up or let go of that dream. The question is...how do you know when and how to give up?

If you know that answer, let me know...

Later

A few years ago I wrote a special lady a simple little poem for her birthday, She said it made her day and i believed her. I care for her as much now as I did then.

So this may be a silly gesture to some people but I believe she would like to see it again and i believe it will still mean something to her. i could update it, but well you know how women are about their age.

Anyway......

Birthday

on the 24th of September
23 yrs ago today
A girl was born
In the normal way

With big blue eyes
And a heart of gold
And as lovely as could be
She stole hearts easily

Time passes and
Things change
Somewhere along the way
She shed her wings

Wings you say
How foolish you speak
But open your eyes
And let your heart seek

Because if you do
And your feelings are true
You're going to see an angel
With wings and halo shining through

Maybe it's a dream
Or maybe im crazy
But I believe god sent you
To make life less hazy

You bring joy
And you bring laughter
And the earth is blessed
From here on after

Take these words
And believe there true
Some people's lives are better
Just because of you

So on this day
Looking in your eyes of blue
All that's left to say is
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

Sweetdreams Angel

The Loneone

A solitary tree
Up on a hill
Testing itself against nature
A battle of wills

Through thunderstorms
And lighting strikes
It held its own
And continued with life

It stood through winters
And the summer’s sun
A solitary figure
A loneone

A roaring lion
Standing of to the side
Doing what he has to do
To protect his pride

Standing proud in
The middle of many
Shouldering their expectations and
Protecting then from their enemies

He stands alone
When his job is done
A solitary figure
A loneone

A solitary man
Stands alone so still
As his dreams crash around him
Testing his will

He raises his heads and shouts why
Why is there so much pain in my life
I try to make people happy
And all I get is strife

How much longer
Must I pay for my past
I can’t change it and it’s over
So how much longer will it last

Silence is his answer
And memories are many
He wonders for what purpose his life is
Or if there is any

He remembers the one
He let slip away
And if pressed hard enough
Can give you the day

He remembers the one
That first broke his heart
After she swore that
They never would part

He remembers the one
That felt so right
And the way she looked when
God took her that night

He remembers the one
That lives far away
And he realizes
That’s where she will stay

He remembers the ones
Who said they care
But when he needed them
They wasn’t there

So he stands alone
On that Georgia hill
As memories swirl around him
And time stands still

He gave each one
A piece of his heart
Now nothing is left
In his world so dark

He walks off the mountain
Without a heart or soul
Never to love again
In the world so cold

He stands alone in the
Middle of fakes
Friends and foes alike
All they do is take

So he walks the world
Without a sun
A solitary figure
A loneone

later