Ever feel like giving up on the silly idea that someone out there is meant for you ?

I have.

life's a bitch

later

After a lot of serious thought I have come to 2 conclusions about life and love.

1. you get what you give.You want love or respect then you have to be willing to give love and respect. But there is no guarantee you will get the same in return from everybody or anybody. It doesnt hurt to give respect and then not get any in return if you know that you deserve it and that the people who really matter do respect you. It can and does hurt when you give love but get none in return.

2.The other conclusion I have came to about love and life is simple.... they both suck

later

The Fight

She holds his hand
It’s all she can do
And prays he knows
She will help him through

What an ironic twist of fate
This turned out to be
God finally answered her prayers
And sent him to she

So many years
She searched for true love
And god finally sent
Him from above

The times were good
Like she dreamed they would be
Two people in love
Happily, completely, and madly

The only regret is
That it took so long to meet
But that’s okay cause
It was one of gods many feats

The days were torture
When they were apart
But they made it up
Once it got dark

It was like she always
Thought it would be
She never had been
So happy you see

But the hands of fate
Is a fickle thing
And sure enough
An enemy came knocking

But fate did good
With the enemy it sent
It had no face
It had no scent

It was not one
You could reach out and touch
But the pain it caused
Hurt oh so much

But how do you fight
What you can’t see
What do you do when
His body turns against he

When he told her
What was happening to him
She said no its not
It’s happening to them

We are in this together
Side by side
And we will beat this bastard
No matter where he hides

She said I will be right here
Steadily holding your hand
Cause it will never win
If together we stand

She said the fight is scary
Just as it should be
But our love is stronger
Than any disease you see

It hurt her so bad
To see what he was going through
And so many nights she cried
And thought he never knew

It was so hard
Day after day
But he never gave in
Not him, no way

Fate messed up
When it jumped on he
Because there was no way
It would beat him you see

He’s been through to much
To just up and give in
He’s had to fight all his life so
It was just another battle to him

Fate fought hard
And almost won
But he had other things
That he had to get done

They went through it
The three of them
God, her and most
Importantly him

It took its toll
And left its scars there
But like a badge of honor
Those he’s proud to wear

They say you cant
Change fate or time
But someone forgot to
Tell them that line

Fate messed up
When it jumped on him
Cause it didn't expect her
To make it a fight with them

It was a long fight
With many tears and much pain
And after it was over
What had she gained

She stands alone
Watching a sunrise
The dew on the grass
Like mother earth had cried

She softly smiles
In the early morning light
As she remembers the times
In this spot he held her tight

She hears a sound
And softly turns around
And slowly falls into his arms
As he sits on the ground

And as they have done
For all these years
They rejoice in each other
Cause love beat the disease and killed their fears

They have enjoyed a long life
Never leaving each others side
And though their hair is now gray
Their love is still a burning desire

This one was wrote a long time ago, but the words are still true to this day. Just in one of those moods tonight, I am sure everyone gets this way from time to time.

Life is to short

Life is to short
To live in confusion
Always having to
Deal with life's contusions

You kill yourself
Trying to please all
And in the end
It’s you that takes the fall

Making everyone happy
Is a noble deed
But only if its not
Your heart that bleeds

There comes a time
When the soul will break
And then for you
It may be to late

But into every life
A little sun must fall
And you know in your heart
You will keep giving them your all

Because the true treasure of a man
Is not measured in gold
Instead it is measured
By those he helps to become whole

So say what you will
And laugh if you must
But this mans heart
Will continue to trust

Human nature
Can’t be all wrong
Cause if it was
God would have made us all strong

So take the time
To help your fellow man
And if you find peace
Thank the man

But if you don’t
And pain is all you see
Remember this my friend
You always have me

I take this role
Knowing the cost
Cause once I give apart of me away
It’s always lost

But if it brightens
A darkened day
And brings a smile and joy
I will give all of me away

I am just one man
Not much I’ll agree
But as the lord said
I would give all of me

If to see a smile
Or hear a giggle
Is some of life’s little pleasures
Then I am guilty

There is no greater feeling
On this earth
Than to know you made a difference
By deflecting mirth

So I say to you, one and all
If my fate is to be sad
Then my mission is to make
Everyone glad

If more people
Would believe like this
Wouldn’t life be fun
With no risk

So now you see
Why I gladly try
To make things better for everyone
But I

Some things never change

The man in the mirror

Have you ever looked in a mirror
And wonder who it is you see
Cause you have changed so much
You say that can’t be me

That cant be me
Uh unh no way
The me I know would have
Long ago walked away

I wouldn’t stand by
And allow this to be
No way would I let people
Walk all over me

I wouldn’t sit here
In such bad shape
Wondering if the future
I really want to face

Why, that I really
Want to know
Why do I allow myself
To be hurt and still not go

I give my all
To everyone but me
I always have cause
It doesn’t matter about me

Let them all
Do to me, as they want
If it helps them
I never will say don’t

I don’t have anything
I wouldn’t give
If it would make someone’s life
A little easier to live

I have gave so much
There’s very little left of me
But if that she wants
Then have it will she

If causing me sorrow and
If causing me pain
Makes them happy then
Who am I to complain

I can’t blame them
It has to be me
I am the one who
Allows it you see

They know I will
Never go away
So they can do, as they want to me
Each and every day

They only want me
When ever they choose
And the other days
I am the one to lose

I am not worthy
Of their attention you see
They would prefer to spend their time
With others not me

If I am lucky
Maybe one day a week
Will my company
They seek

I get nothing saying hi
I get nothing saying bye
And when I check to see
It causes a big sigh

Why they cant take time
For a little note
When they have time to
I just don’t know

I know I come last
Everyone else before me
Is how she has it so I guess
That’s how it should be

But I look in the mirror
And don’t like what I see
A man without a heart
Is looking back at me

But there’s still a spark
Showing in my eyes
And I know how close she is
To making me say goodbye

I am a man
Whose tired of the pain
I have gave her my all now
It’s my time to gain

She has got better
And that I know is true
But she could try a little harder
To not make me so blue

I take what she gives
That’s all I can do
And she knows its true
When I say I love you

But this man has to change
And stop giving so much
If not its gonna kill him and
I know that much

We should be together
I know that is true you see
And all that is stopping us
Is simple she

But it’s in god’s hands
So what will be will be
But she has to know that
I will always love she

Later

There is a lot of stupid people in this crazy world we live in. Here in this small town that I live in we have a mother, and i use that term of endearment very loosely' who is now in jail for murder. It seems that she allowed her 2 year old baby to swallow some crack. Now this female is stupid in 2 ways, 1)she actually takes the junk and 2) she left it where the child could get it. now isnt that stupid as hell ?

Now her people and her friends are gathering around her to help her with her grief. well thats real admirable of them, but maybe just maybe if they had "cared" so much sooner, this 2 year old might still be alive. I am one of the people who believes that when a tragedy such as this happens, the person who gets lost in the big picture is the small people, the children affected by this bullshit or in this case the child who died because a stupid person. Once again I find myself pissed off at the lack of concern some people have for the victims of senseless violence and stupidity. Shouldnt we grieve for the child instead of feel sorry for the mother? we dont feel sorry for the person who goes out and shoots, stab or kills someone some other way. why should we feel sorry for someone who leaves shit out where a child can get it? they are just as guilty. I dont know this child but shouldnt we all grieve for every child that is killed or dies? we got to remember that with every child that dies, a piece of our future dies.

Later